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 Self-esteem

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spiderr
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PostSubject: Self-esteem   Sat Dec 13, 2008 1:41 pm

Some of those who have posted or chatted or messaged here & at similar sites say they have low self-esteem. I know I have issues there! The others who have said they have low self-esteem seem to me to have so much talent, lots of reason for high self-esteem. But I know it's hard to see one's own good qualities, or even believe good things that others say. Can we talk about this? What makes you feel good about yourself? What makes you feel bad? What can we do for ourselves and our sisters (& brothers if any on this forum)?

What can we do to put the little divil of low self-esteem Evil or Very Mad back where he belongs? And maybe see ourselves more as others see us?
Razz
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mirroraddict
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:47 pm

I've noticed this too. I'm actually going to post a self-esteem builder sometime under the positive thread Very Happy.

A way I try to up my self-esteem is by doing nice things for myself even when I believe I do not deserve it. A routine of mine has been painting my nails or reading a book. Both relieve stress and are things I enjoy. I've never really been into painting my nails until this last semester of school. I started doing it as a way to make myself feel better about me... small but it works.

I also find that helping out others helps my self esteem.

How about finding one good thing about yourself each day and write it down in a journal or notebook somewhere? Writing it down will help you remember it and you can look back on it at a time you feel really down about yourself. Try to catch those negative thoughts of yourself and replace them. If at first you can't replace the negative thoughts with positive ones, make up a funny phrase. You'll start to notice when and why you think negatively about yourself. Everyone has way more than one good thing about themselves... it is ok to know you are good at something and it is ok to feel alright about yourself. It is not prideful, nor is it selfish to find something good about yourself.

Take care!

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Last edited by mirroraddict on Tue Dec 16, 2008 8:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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spiderr
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Sun Dec 14, 2008 11:19 am

I'm also thinking about pming other members about their good qualities -- I'm getting a sense of some of us through what they've done online.

thanks for your ideas. Doing something nice for myself won't be easy, but I'm going to try.
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mirroraddict
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:38 pm

PMing other members sounds like a great idea!

You deserve to do something nice for yourself Smile.

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SkullChic
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PostSubject: Re: Self Esteem   Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:28 pm

I came to the realization today that my eating disorder is born out of my need for some kind of control in my life.

I have a shitty family situation, very controlling, mentally and emotionally abusive mother and sister, and my ed is my only sacred thing.

I, of course, have very low self esteem, more so for myself as a person than my body, but they feed off each other.

My self loathing explodes out of me in the form of refusing myself food(and I freaking LOVE food), and running.

My obsessive control over my body has gotten so extreme that I remove the hair from my whole body twice a day, bathe multiple times I day, pierce and tattoo myself, and I am saving up money for a waist training corset. I've been tempted to take arsenic to make my skin even paler, but might try a bleaching lotion instead. I used to cut, but it was too obvious and my family started encroaching on my space and trying to take over control of my body, so I just hit myself now, with my fists, belts, whatever.

It's hurtful and embarrassing to get that all out, but I figure you ladies would have some understanding, or at least compassion.

Every time I try to reach out to a friend they get all weird and stop talking to me. Or try to sleep with me. confused
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:33 pm

I'm here for you sc... sounds like a tough family situation. I understand how you feel with your ed being about control. *hugs* I hope things get better and my pm box is always open. Take care.

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spiderr
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Sat Dec 20, 2008 10:22 am

Skull, you are so insightful! I do understand, and I do have compassion.

The word "compassion" literally means "feeling with" -- and as the daughter of a controlling and sometimes emotionally abusive mother, I do feel with you.

Keep posting, and as MirrorAddict says, my pm box is always open.
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SkullChic
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Sat Dec 27, 2008 4:35 pm

Thank ladies, it's good to feel not so alone. Very Happy

Sorry I haven't been on here much. The holidays, you know. I literally baked six pies in one day, and that was just ONE day. HAHA. But now Christmas is over, so I have more time. Yay time!
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shawty
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PostSubject: meep   Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:57 pm

i have no self esteem or very little
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spiderr
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Wed Jan 28, 2009 3:06 pm

Shawty, that's so sad . . . I think a lot of us have problems with self-esteem.

I put up a challenge for everyone to do something nice for themselves every week. I think it's good for self-esteem. So you are welcome to join in the challenge.

I got the idea from Widget's blog, http://widgetdiet.blogspot.com

Her therapist gave her the assignment of doing something nice for herself every day for a week. Every day is more thaqn I cn accomplish right now, so I'm trying for something nice once a week.
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avaria_grazia
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:34 am

Thats a very good challange and i think its a very good start in building slef-confidence towards yourself Smile
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spiderr
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Sat Feb 21, 2009 10:48 pm

Thanks! Very Happy

Unfortunately I seem to be the only one keeping up with it Neutral

and it gets lonely Crying or Very sad
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avaria_grazia
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PostSubject: Re: Self-esteem   Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:43 am

aww i'll do it with you, need the challange Razz
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